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The Whole Woman
Personal Growth Relational

What is a Whole Woman?

Alicia Kirch


The Whole Woman.


I want to talk to you about what it means to be a whole woman.  The Whole Woman is a space created to be open, raw and real. Please, don’t sugarcoat your story and only give me the Insta-worthy highlights. I’m not a fan of glossing over the hard stuff. And for the love of all things holy, please stop playing down your achievements. This is not a place where you will have  to disown yourself or any of the mistakes you have made or any of the victories you are proud of. And, either will I. This space to is dedicated to exploring and celebrating what it means to a whole woman. The. Whole.Damn.Thing.

Tired of being squeezed.

For me,  there was a time when being a woman (and as a girl), I felt like I was being squeezed into a tight box. The problem: not all of me would fit into such a confined space. The solution: leave out  some vital parts of my very being. A little here and a little there, pieces were removed, until I fit in.

Inside the box I grew angry and frustrated. I learned I wasn’t okay. I stopped loving or even liking myself. I despised the box with it’s absurd ideals and unreasonable expectations.

I hated being bound and restricted. I longed to be reconnected with pieces of my being I left behind to fit in. So, I broke out.

There’s been a lot of hard work, breaking down the box and breaking out. I’ve had to let go of some long-held beliefs and embrace things about myself I have spent a lifetime rejecting. I learned that I am okay. Now, I am pursing freedom and joy and I allow myself the space to explore what my definition of being a whole woman is.

The Dream.

My intention for the Whole Woman is to serve you! My purpose in life is to help you understand, respect and love who you are so you can define success, beauty, life and happiness on your terms. This blog, this site, is me kicking off my dream. I love that you are here and I can’t wait to grow with you.

This is how I’ve learned to live as a whole woman:

  • I must look at what I have despised and rejected about myself and find a way to accept and love it all.
  • I don’t let the world define me.
  • I risk the possibility of being rejected so I can be true to myself and my core values.
  • I practice loving my big thighs, my childless womb, my well-known cutting tongue, and sometimes,  antisocial tendencies, everyday.
  • I let go of striving for perfection and accept that there are tons of things I am not good at and never will be.
  • I allow myself to cry because I do have regrets and want to be damn sure I don’t have anymore.
  • I envision the legacy I want to leave behind.
  • I’m willing to lose the popularity contest and stand up for my faith and beliefs.
  • I am proud of who God created me to be.
  • I love others for who God created them to be.
  • Some days I lose.
  • Some days I win.
  • Some days I don’t want to get out of bed.
  • Some Days I can’t sleep
  • I accept the reality of depression, addiction and mental illness in my family.
  • I sit with friends when they mourn.
  • I grieve a past that didn’t happen the way I wanted it to.
  • I am secretly afraid I can’t create the future I so badly want, but, I get up each day, determined to try anyway.
  • I’ve let go of  once dear friends.
  • I laugh so hard I can’t breath.
  • Sometimes, I get up early to watch the sunrise over the mountains.
  • I have amazing dreams that  have captured my heart, and I am committed to pursuing them no matter what.
  • I live for deep conversations with friends and loved ones.
  • I hold my husband’s hand. I feel safe and loved. I love him.
  • I face fears. From my fear of heights to taxes to my fear of success. I am facing my fears.
  • I live in the truth of joy, pain, laughter and beauty. Often they are happening simultaneously.

The truth is, I love being a woman. I like the pushing back against what’s expected. I love the sisterhood I am a part of. I am on this journey as a whole woman. The. Whole. Damn. Thing.

What’s your definition of being a Whole Woman?

Now it’s your turn: 

  • Get a journal and get ready to write.
  • What’s your definition of being a whole woman? Let loose on this answer, don’t hold back!
  • What things are you actually doing now that make you to feel whole and complete?
  • What things are you doing that stop you from being a whole woman?
  • What pieces of your being did you leave outside of the “box” so you could fit in? Are you ready to reclaim them.
  • What will your life be like when you reclaim them?
  • What about yourself are you ready to stop rejecting and start accepting?
  • If you could do anything, what would you do? Don’t overthink it, please, write down what quickly comes to mind, even if it seem silly.
  • Go ahead and write. Shut your critical thoughts down and connect with your heart. What is it telling you?

This is not an easy exercise, in fact, there may be some tears, there often is on the road back to being you.

  • Share with me, I want to know. Write me at




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